In the morning I panic.
I wake up, hot under my blanket, the sun blocked by wooden shutters. Horses go by. I come to, and anxiety hits.
I breathe, I say comforting things. I get up and dread what the day could bring.
This has been every morning for me in December. Three months ago I made great money and had few bills. Then I took on the Chateau and, as quickly as my bills stacked up, my income disappeared. Freelance work went dry. I sought new clients, contacting over 160 companies, and found nothing.
That was when the anxiety began.
I soothe it with meditation. I used to treat my emotions with food, but food costs money. Singing is free, praying is free. I place myself before the shrine and sing.
This calms me, but it does not fix the problem. That’s the thing about prayer: call it…
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