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Life is one of those funny things. It can fill you with rage and heartbreak at the same time. You can love them and be furious with a person at the same time. Be broke as fuck and still rich in family and friends. You can see the reason some people believe the best in humanity.

You can see the reason some believe the worst.

I try to live my life well, do right by people, especially those I care about. Perhaps I don’t always succeed, but I tried. Sometimes no matter what you do, how you try to improve yourself, it’s not good enough for some, and they just want an excuse to leave you behind for what they want, regardless of it will be good for them. Part of you wants them to be happy, and part of you wonders why they still have to hurt you and be mean after it is all over.

People, I think, are something I shall never understand. Perhaps it’s because I’m not the kind of person to hold onto grudges. You either take vengance, or retribution, and then done. You don’t drag it out, trying to justify why you’re doing it by blaming the other person. Or maybe you do. Maybe that is the human thing. Maybe it gives a feeling of power, to lay others low and be cruel and spiteful.

But there are other powers, greater powers. The power of a father to rescue his son. The power of brothers to watch your back and give you homes. The power of pixies to watch your back and be willing to step up and smack down on your behalf if needed. The power to live with honor and keep your word, the good kind that builds bonds and repays debts, rather than the kind so concerned with personal ego that it allows you to hurt people and take what you want from them because to deny your honor would be an insult, no matter how much it hurts the person you’re “being honorable with.”

I have lived with that latter kind of honor. I have danced with the manipulators of words and energies, and it was a dance I lost. I am not much of a dancer. I can spin a pretty tale with my words, but I’m not skilled in making people eat them. Not like that anyways. Especially when I’m trying to play nice and hold to my honor and grace for the sake of love. Perhaps I lost honor in losing…

But my Goddess is Hel, and she is the goddess of the dishonored. She watches over those who have been the victim and who have sacrificed their honor for the good of those they love. She has supported me through out everything, held me as I cried and gloried in my rage. She watches over me as I move forwards, and I love her for it.

Because what lies ahead is life. And while she is the goddess of death, she walks with us all on that path. And then when it ends, she takes us home.

So live life.

 

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