So, I find my self in a new place…which is really an old place.
My first blog was called Norse Alchemist. It reflected my path as an Alchemist who was studying the Norse way. Years ago, I left that behind, along with my identity as the NorseAlchemist because events had occurred to make that “identity” no longer…my identity.
I made a new identity: Svartwulf, later Lucius Svartwulf, and then when I swore myself to Hel two years ago, Lucius Svartwulf Helsen. I started a new blog, A Heathen’s Path, to mark that I was now more Heathen than Alchemist, more religious, traveling the path of my ancestors’ religion.
Now though, two years after becoming Hel’s son…I find myself, my path, changing. I find myself wondering if I am truly a Heathen. While I hold completely to the culture and the way of thinking…the religion of it…or more precisely the worshipers I encounter…leave me wanting. Norse is who I am, but Heathen? The Religion has failed to be what it should be.
Now this doesn’t mean I’m not still a follower of the Norse Gods. Far from it. In fact, well, that’s kinda the issue. I’m not going to say problem, because it’s not a problem, I’m closer to them than ever in a way.
See, this is something I didn’t know when I swore myself to Hel. I could have done it a number of ways. But the way I chose was to swear myself to her as her son, and she my mother, not just my queen or my patron. We agreed on this before hand. It was what she wanted, intended, of the Oath.
She had been working with me, healing me, shaping me, for ten years. Hel knew what she wanted, but it was my choice. Freely I could have gone to Thor, Odin, Freya, Skadi, Freyr, anyone, and still had her friendship. But I chose her to be fulltrui, to be oath-sworn.
And so her son I became. I became her blood, shaped by her own hands from ashes and blood. Like Skadi in Asgard, I had been adopted into divinity. By the will of Hel, I was not just her cleric as it started out with. It was not just merely to serve as a warrior and general to her armies. It was greater, higher, more demanding. Not enough to serve, not enough to preach, or command, but…to someday rule. Heir, Prince, Son. I didn’t know it at first. It was reveal over time, solely, subtly, because even I would not have believed it.
No doubt those reading this think me mad. It is easy to accept a man may dedicate himself to a Pagan Path. Even easy to believe him to swear fealty to a God. But for a man to have the arrogance to claim divinity? One he cannot “prove” to others? Surely that is insanity.
But it has happened before. There were a number of ways a man could become a God. Adoption, as happened to me, is a well known way for Gods to become. Skadi, Freyr, Freya, and Loki were all Jotuns or Vanir, who became Asgardian Gods. Hel herself was but Loki’s child and was made a God by dictate of Odin. Mordgud was a Etin, who became a God at Hel’s word. Even Thor adopted two human children later who became Asgardians. And beyond that, there has been things like apotheosis, by which men made men into Gods by acclamation or ritual. It is said that all Gods were once of mankind, but rose through the worship of Mankind. To start as one thing and become another is something that happens throughout nature.
Maybe it is insanity. We have not seen Gods rise in our time. We haven’t even seen the Gods walk in our time. Some might roll their eyes and think this is the next step after the rush of godspouses, now people are declaring themselves Gods.
I can’t answer you. I know though, that my…present existence is so far outside of what it seems most Heathens would accept that I cannot expect any form of recognition from those who do not know me. Going forward, if I am to be open about who…what, I am, is likely to be hard.
So I am turning to you, my readers. WordPress has a way to change this blog’s name and make it so everyone can still find my looking for the present name. My question to you is this:
Should I continue this blog as it is, ill fitting though it presently feels, or should I change the name, live more openly as who I am, as the Son of Hel despite the odds that may come.
Should I remain A Heathen’s Path, or shall I become the Son of Hel. While the choice of Who I am is already made, you deserve a voice in what happens. A God is not a thing by themselves. They are made loud by their followers. While I have no delusions about any of you actually worshiping me…you have followed this blog, supported me, and taken comfort or wisdom from my words. It is only right that you have a voice. An…apotheosis, a chance to be part of something that could be very wondrous.
So I am putting a pole here, you can click it or you can vote in the comments. Nine is the number of completion. I will accept votes to the pole or comments for one or the other until Nov. 5.
Then I make my choice. Your voices can have a part of that. I thank you for your choices and hope that no matter what I chose, you will stay with me as my friends and help me walk this path.
Lucius Svartwulf Helsen.