Conversations with my ex are always enlightening. Probably not for the reasons she hopes or wants though. But hey, you don’t get everything in life.
I’d run into her and the fox god the other day while I was at work. I was…curt with him. Given the situation and what he has done to me and those who allied themselves with me, one shouldn’t find it all that terrible a surprise. My ex knows why, though she thinks I should just drop it and get over it. But then, she does not live by honor and is of a people whose culture is based on honor. He is though.
So she ended up calling me while I was working tonight and we had a bit of a discussion of my issue with him. She thought it was about her leaving me for him, to which I explained that had nothing to do with it. It had to do with his actions and his alone (I suspect she was a bit miffed that she wasn’t an important piece of the situation). She got angrier and angrier with me, claiming I was hiding behind wounded pride and petty technicalities from the insults paid to me, Hel, Skadi, and others.
Truth is though, I had spoke with him once about what he had done, and he brushed it off. He had done the morally right thing and did not care the harm that had come from it. I haven’t spoken to him or brought it up again because I did not want that to happen again, because if it did, well…
Under the old law, up to two insults could be forgiven, but a third had to be paid in blood. We are so far past three insults that Hel and I had decided due to his previous services to our realm, we would leave him be, give him time to come to us offering recompense. In the end though, he never did and thanks to my ex’s actions during the call, I am now drafting a thing to send to the Sun King.
One thing she did say had me laughing though. She claimed that this petty shit was why I was never going to be a major god like He was, that I was always going to be a minor god and never amount to anything (as if managing to become a god was something ordinary).
Thing is though…I don’t care. I never expected to be more than a demon, and as a God I figured that, well, I was a god. That was pretty good on the scale of things. So what if I’m a minor god who never gets many followers or something? I have my love, my Hel, I have a home and a people. I have friends in my realm, I have a few friends outside my realm. Hel has never been a goddess to get major worship anyways, Helheim has never been a major player in Midgardian affairs because we deal with the dead, not the living.
So it doesn’t matter if I’m ever as major a god as the Fox God. I don’t have to whip our my divine penis and say “look how big I am.” That’s never been my goal in life. My goal has always been to have a family (which I’ve gotten) and to protect that family (which I will). In fact, to me, it’s actually better.
During the conversation my ex started talking about me being a minor god and how even though I was a god of law, I wasn’t the god of lay, that was Tyr, and how that meant I answered to him (which is wrong) and how Hel answered to Odin, and how she didn’t think Odin would really go for what Hel and I were saying about being insulted, and maybe he would shut down this pettiness.
Now that made me angry. Not because she said I answered to Tyr (which I don’t, and I’ll explain) but because she was threatening to do something she and the Fox God have been doing for a while. It’s something I’ve talked about before, where they will put pressure on other Gods to act as they think should be done. Threatening to push Odin to force Hel to drop a lawful claim of insult and dishonor…well…that’s down right wrong. Hel doesn’t answer to Odin anyways, Helheim is a separate and equal realm to Asgard. The only realms that answer to Asgard are Vanaheim and Midgard used to. Helheim never has, even though Odin gave Helheim to Hel to rule. In fact it is war between the two that causes Ragnarok, so threatening to have Odin force Hel act a certain way is tantamount to starting The End. That’s why I don’t answer to Tyr, I am of Helheim. Tyr and I can and will work together, but that’s like an NYC cop and an LA cop working together. He might have the experience, but he doesn’t technically outrank me. Implying or stating he does shows a dangerous level of ignorance to Norse affairs and politics.
And the whole thing that started this insult business was exactly that attitude she was displaying. “We are bigger Gods than you so we can dictate how you run your lives and kingdoms.” She was all but threatening to do what he had done to stop what he had started. It might be effective, but it’s a bit like shooting a husband in the head because he’s trying to kill you for murdering his wife. Sure you stopped his vengeance…but you’re so far from morally acceptable action as to boggle the mind how you’d feel you’d done the right thing.
So maybe I won’t ever be as great a god as he is. That’s okay, because if that is the measure of a “great god” then I’ll stay a minor one. I’ll be known for my honor and keeping my word, for protecting my realm and loving my queen. I won’t be known for great and mighty deeds that shape the universe to my whim, or for insulting those I think I’m better than because I think I can get away with it. I won’t be known for dictating how realms should run their business, regardless of their culture or their beliefs or their power structures. And in the end, I won’t be known as the great god who all the gods allied against and brought down because he trampled upon their honor and their sovereignty.
Be a “Great God” in YOUR OWN right. Was never enthusiastic about being compared to someone else or feeling “obligated” to be as good as someone else either.
Keep on doing YOUR OWN thing. Of my own path: “Dragons are obligated only to those Elders they have willingly obligated themselves to.” No one else.
– Rev. Dragon’s Eye
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exactly right.
One thing I’ve always thought of pointing out is from DBZ. Goku is the strongest in the universe and no matter how hard he works Vegita never catches up. But at the end of the day…Vegita is the better person. Goku is always running away, training, abandoning his family and friends, etc, while Vegita for the most part actually does settle down and be there for his family.
Power isn’t everything, and having more power doesn’t make you better.
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Hmmm.
“Goku”, “Vegita”, etc. are definitely characters out of the “Dragonball Z” series. However, I DO take my spiritual path very seriously, and DO deligently study the ancient myths of the great mythological dragons our ancestors once held in high esteem. My beliefs are genuine and do not originate from any game or cartoon; “Role-Play”, fantasy, or otherwise.
I sincerely hope this reply was not intended to poke fun in that direction. Either that, or I hope I am mistaken on how this sounded to me.
I was speaking in support of your position to hold your own views and practice your own brand of “The Art” the way YOU see fit. Not making anything of a canard out of what you presented here. I take my walk with the Dragons very seriously, and wish so many others would see this as a valid belief system, even though it differs from their own understandings. So, please pardon me if I seem suspicious of what you stated and how you stated in your reply to me.
I started following your blog a while back, because I appreciated the informative posts and articles contained within. That, and I have a strong interest in the Heathen and Asatruar practices, as they are extremely compatible to my own (even though a few of my deities may seem to be as “demons” within the Heathen and Asatru communities).
This was one of several reasons I left “House of Vines” blog, and have never even considered returning to it. Anyway, I do not do much television, so I very rarely even see Dragonball Z, yet I know few RPG’ers who do.
– Rev. Dragon’s Eye
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i beg pardon, i was not attempting to say that you took any of your stuff from fantasy or that it was fiction or all of that. I greatly appreciate your support, I have enjoyed our conversations and the fact that you don’t think me mad. 🙂
The Goku and Vegita thing was an analogy, not a mark of reality or anything like that. It was meant only to show that just because someone is the “strongest” doesn’t make them the best person. It is one’s actions, how honorable one is, that defines the mark of a person’s character more than their power. It was just the clearest example I had, and I have a tendency to identify with that “second strongest” person who can never catch up, no matter how hard they try. Yet somehow they often manage to be better people.
I have never heard of this “house of vines” you speak of though, but I get the impression they treated you much like most heathens would treat me claiming to be a diety, however minor. It is sad that people are not more accepting.
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Yes it is.
Anyway, we each walk our own path, regardless of others’ unflattering commentary. So, I have stepped a bit too far into the absurd, my appologies. And Yes, I was treated rather badly, especially when I tried to inject a little commonsense in a couple of posts that were “out there” as far as the perceived outrage over what was a very minor (inconsequential) subject. I just basically refused to further engage in the immaturity of the moment.
So, please be at peace. No offense be taken. Like I said, I get a little over-sensitive sometimes when certain things said, sound like the get too close to condemnation or senseless put-downs. My biggest heartache always came from those who did this, while claiming to be so spiritual themselves. “Strength” should also be our inner-quality, because without it – anything on the surface, is but a mere shell.
So,
A toast to those of us who can walk away from the crowds, and still be our own Beings; Perfect in every way meant to us!
– Skole!
– Rev. Dragon’s Eye
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