Conversations with my ex are always enlightening. Probably not for the reasons she hopes or wants though. But hey, you don’t get everything in life.
I’d run into her and the fox god the other day while I was at work. I was…curt with him. Given the situation and what he has done to me and those who allied themselves with me, one shouldn’t find it all that terrible a surprise. My ex knows why, though she thinks I should just drop it and get over it. But then, she does not live by honor and is of a people whose culture is based on honor. He is though.
So she ended up calling me while I was working tonight and we had a bit of a discussion of my issue with him. She thought it was about her leaving me for him, to which I explained that had nothing to do with it. It had to do with his actions and his alone (I suspect she was a bit miffed that she wasn’t an important piece of the situation). She got angrier and angrier with me, claiming I was hiding behind wounded pride and petty technicalities from the insults paid to me, Hel, Skadi, and others.
Truth is though, I had spoke with him once about what he had done, and he brushed it off. He had done the morally right thing and did not care the harm that had come from it. I haven’t spoken to him or brought it up again because I did not want that to happen again, because if it did, well…
Under the old law, up to two insults could be forgiven, but a third had to be paid in blood. We are so far past three insults that Hel and I had decided due to his previous services to our realm, we would leave him be, give him time to come to us offering recompense. In the end though, he never did and thanks to my ex’s actions during the call, I am now drafting a thing to send to the Sun King.
One thing she did say had me laughing though. She claimed that this petty shit was why I was never going to be a major god like He was, that I was always going to be a minor god and never amount to anything (as if managing to become a god was something ordinary).
Thing is though…I don’t care. I never expected to be more than a demon, and as a God I figured that, well, I was a god. That was pretty good on the scale of things. So what if I’m a minor god who never gets many followers or something? I have my love, my Hel, I have a home and a people. I have friends in my realm, I have a few friends outside my realm. Hel has never been a goddess to get major worship anyways, Helheim has never been a major player in Midgardian affairs because we deal with the dead, not the living.
So it doesn’t matter if I’m ever as major a god as the Fox God. I don’t have to whip our my divine penis and say “look how big I am.” That’s never been my goal in life. My goal has always been to have a family (which I’ve gotten) and to protect that family (which I will). In fact, to me, it’s actually better.
During the conversation my ex started talking about me being a minor god and how even though I was a god of law, I wasn’t the god of lay, that was Tyr, and how that meant I answered to him (which is wrong) and how Hel answered to Odin, and how she didn’t think Odin would really go for what Hel and I were saying about being insulted, and maybe he would shut down this pettiness.
Now that made me angry. Not because she said I answered to Tyr (which I don’t, and I’ll explain) but because she was threatening to do something she and the Fox God have been doing for a while. It’s something I’ve talked about before, where they will put pressure on other Gods to act as they think should be done. Threatening to push Odin to force Hel to drop a lawful claim of insult and dishonor…well…that’s down right wrong. Hel doesn’t answer to Odin anyways, Helheim is a separate and equal realm to Asgard. The only realms that answer to Asgard are Vanaheim and Midgard used to. Helheim never has, even though Odin gave Helheim to Hel to rule. In fact it is war between the two that causes Ragnarok, so threatening to have Odin force Hel act a certain way is tantamount to starting The End. That’s why I don’t answer to Tyr, I am of Helheim. Tyr and I can and will work together, but that’s like an NYC cop and an LA cop working together. He might have the experience, but he doesn’t technically outrank me. Implying or stating he does shows a dangerous level of ignorance to Norse affairs and politics.
And the whole thing that started this insult business was exactly that attitude she was displaying. “We are bigger Gods than you so we can dictate how you run your lives and kingdoms.” She was all but threatening to do what he had done to stop what he had started. It might be effective, but it’s a bit like shooting a husband in the head because he’s trying to kill you for murdering his wife. Sure you stopped his vengeance…but you’re so far from morally acceptable action as to boggle the mind how you’d feel you’d done the right thing.
So maybe I won’t ever be as great a god as he is. That’s okay, because if that is the measure of a “great god” then I’ll stay a minor one. I’ll be known for my honor and keeping my word, for protecting my realm and loving my queen. I won’t be known for great and mighty deeds that shape the universe to my whim, or for insulting those I think I’m better than because I think I can get away with it. I won’t be known for dictating how realms should run their business, regardless of their culture or their beliefs or their power structures. And in the end, I won’t be known as the great god who all the gods allied against and brought down because he trampled upon their honor and their sovereignty.