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So I went to see Kingsman on Sunday with my dad. Let me start by saying it is probably the most politically (at least to sjws) incorrect movie out there. On the one side you have a bunch of wealthy, able bodied, hyper intelligent white people as the good guys, and on the baddies side you have a phobia-crippled, lisping black man and his amputee Asian/Hispanic girlfriend.

And it is the single most glorious film I have seen in ages.

Think of all the old James Bond spy thrillers. Think about how over the top, brutal, funny, and crazy they could be. Now take all the best parts of those films…and leave out all the crappy stuff that didn’t work. This is the purified gold of the spy thriller, especially the British spy thrillers.

Eggsy, the protagonist, goes from being at the bottom of society to being at the top of human capability and power. The Kingsman themselves, are a spy organization of agents who take their code names from Arthur and the knights of the round table, working at the highest levels of discretion (to the point that no other intel agency in the world knows about them). Their tools are the tools of the Gentleman, their disposition while doing all business is that of a Gentleman, and Eggsy in turn learns what it means to be a Gentleman. They just happen to be saving the world, because that is what a Gentleman does.

And frankly, in a world where manners, social graces, and just plan being a decent human being seems to not be thrown out the window as it has been catapulted out with a second stage rocket to keep it flying…damn that’s a nice thing to see. Also, tailored suits.

Kingsman_Street_html Believe me, tailored suits look awesome. I want one now, and my general clothing is cargos and a t-shirt. That’s how bad ass a suit looks now.

And the villians are as brilliant as they are offensive to social justice warriors. Samuel L. Jackson, the bad mother fucker himself, not only makes a surprising believable lisping, blood fearing, meglomaniac, his ladyfriend Gazelle is a perfect poster child for why disabled doesn’t mean crippled, and how anyone who wants to talk about ableism needs to really just shut up. Because they do. She kicks the most ass (and loves the violence that goes down).

Of course, the villians motivation is, as it sometimes can be, noble. Valentine (Jackson) wants to save the planet from global warming/climate change. How? Well, since humanity is a virus, and the planet’s changing weather is the “immune system” trying to get rid of the sickness…there are two options. Remove humanity ourselves, or the planet will do it for us. So why not take a bit of control over who gets killed.

One gets the impression they were trying to piss of a lot of a certain type of people. Judging by a quick google search, they succeeded.

Probably not helped by the fact that most of the world leaders (including President Obama) all happily sign on to mass genocide all in the name of saving the planet. It’s hard to believe, much less accept, that one’s world leaders are willing to throw their people under the bus. Especially when you consider them heroes. But it is true, and I can’t say that given how much many politicians talk about how we need to solve the problem of climate change…that they wouldn’t sign on to this kind of plan in order to get it done. Actually, I found it one of the most realistic parts of the move.

But the action scenes are glorious. At one point, Harry Hart is trapped in an extremist church when Valentine sets off his weapon. What follows has to be the longest, most brutal, single handed beat down I have seen in the history of my watching action movies. I think it also had the highest body count. Hart takes down nearly the entire church in a berserker frenzy. It. Was. Glorious.

The entire theater was dead silent. Which never happens after a fight scene. Everyone was in shock. Because you see spy movies with highly trained spies who can deliver epic beat downs. But you never watch them rack up more kills than your average video game fight. It truly showed what that level of training, along with a complete lack of mercy, can do. I loved it. It was as if Odin himself had descended into battle wearing a perfect suit.

I’m not going to give too much more away, because I really want people to see this movie. It is worth it, completely and utterly. Because it shows that just because someone is disabled doesn’t mean they need special treatment, they can still manage to destroy the world.

And that sometimes, to save the world…you need to have a little class.

Manners maketh man.

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