So we’re going to take a step back from Paganism and the sacred to once again talk about that which is about as far from sacred as you can get. And if your screams of horror are anything to go by, you have guessed the topic we’re about to rip into today.
That’s right people, the Kiddy Fuckers won’t go away. And we have Salon.com to thank for this gem: The pedophile I could not help: He was not a monster or a molester. The system destroyed him anyway by
And you know it’s going to be a gem when the tag line is:
He was kind, sweet and intellectually curious. He was also a pedophile. I knew I could help — until he was jailed
Soh, let’s get started.
I will never forget Jacob. He was an early, twenty-something-year-old young man whom I encountered in my days of working as a research assistant in a sexology lab.
He had all-American looks, with a fresh face and delicate, blond hair. Cheerful and intellectually curious, he was interested in topics like computer programming and machine learning. He wanted to understand the physics of the MRI scanner we used.
Sounds like everyone woman’s dream man, to be honest. I could see why she would never forget him.
He was also a pedophile.
And now I want to forget him.
But Jacob had not touched a child. He had contacted whom he thought was a 10-year-old girl in a chat room and made plans to meet up with her. When he arrived, he discovered he had been corresponding with an undercover police officer, and was arrested for luring a minor.
I love this whole “he was innocent, he was only caught trying to commit the act!” bit here. Like seriously, if you’re going to try and sell this man to me as an angel who just needed help, the whole “was going to meet a child and found a cop” bit really, really isn’t helping your case.
This is how he ended up in our forensic facility and in my office, with me sitting across from him with a clipboard, asking if he was interested in taking part in our research study.
He agreed to participate, wanting to help scientists, and himself, better understand why some men are sexually attracted to children. More importantly, he hoped that one day, we would find a cure. After completing the study MRI and interview, he asked if I could send him the images of his brain, because he was curious to see what it looked like.
A few days later, I learned that Jacob had been incarcerated.
Well, this one is not hard to explain at all. Men (And Women) want sex. It’s a biological imperative to carry on the species. Why are some Men (and Women, geez people there’s a lot of female pedos out there, stop being sexist) attracted to children? Why are some people attracted to furries? Why are people attracted to the morbidly obese and the horrifically anorexic? Why do I find Hel the most beautiful woman in all the nine realms when there are times she’s half a skeleton and half flesh?
Because sex is weird, man.
People are going to find attractive what they find attractive. That’s not the problem, usually. The problem is when said attraction brings harm to others. So really, it shouldn’t come as a surprise this guy was incarcerated, he was caught intending to commit a crime. A crime which was to
&(@)@#$*#&@@#$ @#*(%*@#$%(@#$B a child who could not give consent to sex.
I mean really, what’s next: “I’m a rapist, but not a monster?”
Oh gods I’ve probably said too much.
There is a very important distinction between pedophiles and child molesters. Pedophiles have a preferential sexual interest in prepubescent children. Some pedophiles are child molesters, but not all are. Similarly, not all child molesters are pedophilic. (That is, people will sexually abuse children for reasons that aren’t related to sex, such as antisociality, being under the influence of alcohol or other substances, or because the abuser has easier access to a child than a consenting adult.)
You know, Nickerson had this same bullshit argument here. “Not all pedoes are child molesters.” Which is true…some of them are “virgins.” They would only be a child molester if they actually had sex with a child.
And this trying to throw a red herring out there about how not all child molesters are pedophiles. Yeah, okay, fair enough, but then they’re not the topic in question here are they? That’s like trying to have a discussion about serial killers and some one jumps in with “well, not all killers are serial killer, huh huh.”
Pointing out that you’re not the only ones committing the same crime does not absolve you of the fact you would be committing a crime.
I am not saying that we should condone pedophiles who act on their desires. I am saying that we should not judge people who were not given a choice in terms of whom they are attracted to. Research has shown differences in the white matter of pedophiles’ brains, demonstrating that their sexual interest in children is hard-wired and can’t be changed, akin to a sexual orientation.
There are many wonderful gifts the gay community has give the world. “Born this way” is officially off that list.
But let’s look at this, she’s not saying we should “condone” pedophiles who act on their desires, however at the same time she is literally saying “they’re born this way and can’t help it.” Which kind of implies that since we do condone it for the heterosexual, homosexual and so forth communities that, well, maybe we should since they were “born this way.”
Of course many a defense attorney has also tried to use that argument to defend a rapist…
Shit, said too much again.
Not every pedophilic man is as prosocial as Jacob. But many do not offend against children, despite being uncontested by our society as the most deplorable scum to exist, and mandatory reporting laws that make it virtually impossible for them to seek professional help for the problem without a cost to their personal lives.
By “prosocial” I’m going to guess is code for “goes out to have sex with children.”
Also, yes, mandatory laws make it hard for them to seek psychological help. Of course, if I were to go to a shrink and spend several sessions about an overwhelming desire to start shooting people from a clock tower with high powered rifle (not how I would do it, but people are different) I doubt Ms Soh here would really be saying mandatory reporting laws are bad. Especially if I was to go out and gun people down. In fact, that’s why mandatory reporting laws were put in place to start with, to prevent criminal harm from happening to someone because a shrink was otherwise bound by confidentiality.
But hey, it’s wrong to do that to pedophiles. They can’t help it. They were born that way.
And so, they struggle on a day-to-day basis to control these urges with little to no support from the world around them. They understand the implications of such acts and don’t want to go to prison. Many also don’t want to exploit a child. But feeling isolated and like you have nothing to lose is a precarious place to be when straining to resist temptation.
You mean like how I feel about killing pedos right about now?
Seriously, I know I talked about it a few posts ago, about how it is pleasing to Hela to respect the rights of other people to believe as they will, but I’m also pretty damn sure (because she’s told me) that a pedo’s head would not be a displeasing offering unto the Goddess of Death.
Where’s my support group to help me not give into these urges?
All dark humor aside though, geez. Pity the Gelf all over again. But then what should I expect from PedoSalon.com
A promising solution would be a program such as Germany’s Prevention Project Dunkelfeld, which allows pedophiles to seek free, confidential support before sexually offending against a child, instead of only after they have become involved with the legal system. Dunkelfeld has indeed been successful in lowering the rate of child sexual abuse.
I have my doubts, but hey, miracles happen.
As for Jacob, his life was essentially over. And the most unfortunate reality is, even when the day comes that he is released from prison, he will still struggle with the same sexual attraction to children, and again find himself in the position of doing so with minimal support in the community.
Well, yes, his life was essentially over, because he was trying to meet a child with whom to have sex and instead found a cop.
I mean seriously, Soh, would you be trying to make this argument if he had gone with the intention of raping a grown woman? Do you really, really not understand why we as a society have criminalized non-consensual sex? You are completely disregarding the life of the child here, for the sake of feeling sorry for someone who was going to rape a child.
Is there something you’re not telling us about yourself, Soh?
Bloody Hela, I mean it was bad enough with Nickerson and his VirPed bullshit, but this lady is honestly trying to make us feel sorry for a man who was literally stopped in the act of trying to meet a child to have sex with. A child who could not consent. He was literally going to rape a child!
I mean, I hate this argument usually but fuck it:
I tell friends, colleagues, and strangers I meet (as I believe birthday parties present an excellent opportunity to enlighten people on the matter), when they fail to understand why I am sympathetic towards pedophiles, “How would you feel if you couldn’t ever have sex with anyone? What if you also couldn’t look at the porn you liked because it was illegal, and couldn’t confide in anyone for support?” By this point, most people begin nodding their heads in agreement.
You fucking talk to friends, colleagues, and strangers at birthday parties (presumably children’s birthday parties) about pro-pedo rights!
“How would you feel if you couldn’t have sex with anyone?” Well, bit like a Catholic monk I guess.
“What if you couldn’t look at porn?” Well, try being into BDSM in Brittan.
Also, I don’t think they’re nodding their heads in agreement. I think they’re nodding and smiling at the crazy lady hoping not to inspire any sudden acts of child rape. Just smile and walk away slowly.
And if they are actually nodding in agreement with her…fuck. Just, fuck. I don’t even know what to say to that. Downfall of western civilization I guess. Let’s pack it up and shoot ourselves in the head. Or see about colonizing Mars with only sane people.
The backlash that Todd Nickerson faced upon publicly writing about his personal struggle with pedophilia is a reminder that we, as a society, have far to go in challenging the way we think about this emotionally charged subject. But our current approach is not working.
I was part of that backlash. Frankly, I think it worked pretty damn well. Gave me some hope for humanity.
Also, “we have a long way to go” about this subject? We’re talking about a sexual attraction which by its very nature would in practice be an act of RAPE! Hel, the reason you can’t even get child porn is because Children cannot consent!
Long way to go? How far do we have to go to understand non-consent! Can not give you permission to fuck them. Incapable of saying yes and knowing what it means!
And frankly, our present approach of “children cannot consent, there for having sex with them is rape and if you rape a child you go to jail” seems to work pretty damn well to me! It’s nice, it’s logical, it’s rational, and it’s factual. Easy to understand. And sure, maybe it’s hard on the pedo, but we don’t give free passes to rapists, serial killers, kleptomaniacs, and so forth for their crimes simply because they were “born that way.”
If we want to prevent child sexual abuse, we must start by listening—for once—to the requests for help from men like Mr. Nickerson.
And here it is again, that whole line of reasoning the equal of which I have only seen in “Islam is a religion of peace, behead those who say otherwise.”
If we don’t give the pedoes what they want, they will rape our children.
Of course, they already stated that not all child molesters are pedophiles…so this “new approach” won’t really do much to actually end or prevent child sexual abuse. So really, if it isn’t going to prevent anything, why should I change my presently working system for one that’s more pedo friendly?
Debra W. Soh is a sex researcher, neuroscientist, and writer at York University in Toronto, Canada. She has contributed to Harper’s, Pacific Standard, Men’s Health, and many others.
Yep. This is what science has wrought. I always figured it would be some giant mutated ants or radioactive zombies, but nope, society shall end by scientists trying to humanize child rapists.
Why couldn’t have been the ants?