Ah, the sweet smell of self righteous hatred. You know, there is nothing quite like coming onto Heathen forums and groups, looking around, and finding a bunch of elitists who insist that Heathenism should never be about the brotherhood of our faith, but rather the constant insistence of Terence and Philip skits regarding how no one owes anyone else hospitality, friendship, or kinship. Truly, beating people down for trying to experience brotherhood with their co-coreligionists honors our Gods and Ancestors more than any amount of “bro-satru” ever would. Why, they would be shamed to see us engaging in such charitable acts of raising the horn, bidding people welcome, and judging them by their merits. Better we should judge them as lesser things for wanting to be friends and family with us by the auspices of the Gods.

That’s right bitches, I am going to talk about the “Anti-Bros” today. In fact, I might do a bit of a run on this because frankly, this is something I have seen sweep through the Heathen community and it is one of the reasons I am actually looking to leave behind Heathenism (along with the ever growing split between piety and atheism). I’ve brushed on this before, but I don’t think I’ve ever actually tackled it. But we’re going to start with a post called Don’t Call Me Brother: False Kinship and the Inappropriate Assumption of Familiarity by a person named Ale Glad.

I’m thinking Herr Glad needs a bit more Ale.

I’m going to warn you right now, this is a pet peeve post…

Oh good, I love pet peeve posts. They tend to be the one where I really get people’s goats. Mostly because this peeve is their pet, and most of the time it seems said peevish pets are about people being assholes to other people, but wanting to feel like they’re in the right anyways.

…Generally, I try to avoid writing these but this has been something that I’ve been meaning to address for some time now. There is a common behavior that gets on my nerves in a way that few things do, someone calling me “brother” just because we share a similar faith…

Ah yes, nothing like people coming into a religion that promises to be all about faith and family and then stupidly expecting people within that faith to become your family. I mean, seriously, did no one read the packaging? I mean, I know the Heathenism Display Box says “come for the kinship” but really, were you scrubs really stupid enough to believe what the packaging said?

Clearly, you’re the kind of idiot who believes all the 5 star ratings when buying products, not realizing that’s just shit put on there to make you get the thing we’re selling. We’re not actually going to deliver a product of faith and family hear at Heathen Co. Fuck you. Scrub bitches, thinking you’re L33T enough to roll with us.

…The very idea that we are all “brothers and sisters in Heathenry” is so patently absurd that I find it completely strange that it even needs to be mentioned…

A yep.

Really, not sure I have to comment about that.

…First off, the idea of a “siblinghood of faith” isn’t a Heathen idea. It is an imported idea that people newly baptized into the faith of the White Christ are somehow “reborn” into a new “family” that trumps clan ties…

And Heathenism is supposed to be the religion of your birth ancestors, so by joining that faith you come back to your original family. I mean, The Gods are our parents, we worship our ancestors, I think about half of our supernatural creatures are actually those ancestors taking on different forms from human…

I mean, we’re talking about a religion and culture that was all about the tribal connection of the peoples to each other. But no, clearly, this whole “religion as family” idea is purely Christian bullshit. And we should reject that wholeheartedly. Even if it was something our ancestor’s believed in.

Also, the entire reason for a modern push for “co-religionists as family” in Heathenism is largely because most of us do not have “clan ties” to other heathens. Hell, most of us live with families who are either deeply Christian and view our Heathenism as a major sin (and stop at nothing to try and save us) or Atheists who look at us like we’re loonies needed of padded rooms. Really hard to blame some fresh heathen for wanting a familial support structure within his faith. But hey, fuck noobs, amiright?

Also, I know this “White Christ” thing was a historical title, but…it sounds kinda odd. Maybe I’ve been reading too much SJW stuff where White = Evil.

…Second, it completely disrespects the importance of kinship by establishing a false kinship that has no meaning or worth and assumes a degree of familiarity that simply isn’t warranted.

Really…I’m guessing this man is saying this all with a straight face. In which case…

Yeah.

Kinship ties were of the utmost importance to our ancestors…

WAIT!!!

I though you said this whole “family” thing was made up by the Christians. Now you’re telling me that Heathenism for our ancestors was all about Kinship?

Make up yo dam mind foo!

…Whether we are talking about kinship established by birth, fosterage, or oath, to be kin set forth the basic social structure by which everyone lived. Kinship ties established a hierarchy of relationships that determined order of inheritance and obligations of honor and vengeance…

Huh.

You know, I’ve never really known a person to self defeat their own position in two paragraphs. But here, it has clearly happened. After all, in joining Heathenism you take an Oath unto the Gods, creating a familial bond with them, and by extension, everyone else who has taken that oath of piety and kinship.

So…there is a whole foundation of “religion as family” inside of Heathenism, since ancient times. Well done, Ale Glad, you have defeated yourself. I literally had to read down to your second paragraph and you summarily destroyed your own argument.

…Even today, which we have to be honest matters a great deal more than how 1000 year old societies did things, kinship determines default inheritance, legal authority, and a myriad of other rights, privileges, and responsibilities that are far too numerous to get into here. To inappropriately assume familiarity of kinship simply by calling someone you don’t know a brother or sister on the grounds of a shared general religious belief diminishes the historical and modern importance of kinship.

Translation, legal shit, legal shit, and oh, you’re going to make the meaning of family diminished with your noobish grubby mitts pawing all over my tribal inheritance.

I mean, Glad has already really destroyed his own argument for “no family of religion,” so at this point he’s just apparently trying to justify being an asshole to people who want to be his friend and family. With bullshit, false equivalency things like saying “because family is about inheritance, these people cannot be my family, despite their partaking in the same inheritance from our gods.”

The other important issue with the inappropriate assumption of familiarity through false kinship is the arrogance of placing yourself within the most intimate part of innangard…

Ah innangard. Now there is a word I have hated since people first started bringing it up in Heathenism. For those of you who have not had the misfortune of hearing it, Innangard basically means “inner world” or “closest kin.” And it’s linked to this whole idea that there are those who are your kin, and those who are not your kin, and that you should only be nice to your kin, and fuck everyone else. Now, in a sane, happy universe, Innangard would include your fellow heathens and the “outsiders” would be people like Christians, Muslims, Atheists, and other non-Heathens. But no, we live in a world where the Innangard is literally nothing more than “this is my click of cool kids, and fuck you losers, I’m too god for you.”

…Because the innangard is inherently a holy thing, metaphorically being the loyal and worthy relationships and the literal sacred enclosures of a vé, violation of this boundary is to violate the most sacred of relationship and introduce disorder and chaos into the stable and orderly…

“Like, omg, this pimply faced nerd asked me out on a date! Can you believe that? Like, I cannot believe it. I’m so traumatized. Like, my world is falling apart, you know? Fucking Triggered. Like, did he even think he had a shot at me? Like, what if Billy finds out, like this will totally ruin my reputation at school! It’s like he raped me! My world is falling apart!!! I’m so embarrassed!!!!!!”

That is literally what I hear reading that. Some scrub thought they were good enough to be a part of your faith, your kindred, your whole Heathen set up, and you can’t believe the chaos that is befalling your world because damn it, that scrub should know better than to think they can join some l33t family like yours.

…To put it bluntly, it is to violate the right and proper order of the cosmos itself. Even if that’s a bit hyperbolic, it’s just plain rude.

The right and proper order of the cosmos.

Some person finds heathenry, joins up, calls you brother…and they have violated the right and proper order of the cosmos itself.

Can…can we just take a moment to think about what you said here, Ale Glad.

 

 

 

Now, don’t get me wrong. I do understand the need to connect in a meaningful manner with others of like mind, especially when we are only able to communicate with others in an impersonal manner…

You could have fooled me, Ale Glad. You really could have fooled me. Because you have done nothing but talk about how people trying to connect in a meaningful manner violates the very proper order of the universe to you. As if people who called you brother because you were a fellow Heathen were the spawn of Surtr himself, destined to burn everything in a Ragnarok of false kinships and bro-mantic ale drinking.

The human need to connect with others is a powerful urge. It is because of this that we need to always remember our proper relationships with others.

You know what…I’m not even going to write what popped into my head reading that.

That should tell you how bad it was.

These relationships are what make up the very basis of our social and cultural order. If we violate these basic rules and create false bonds then we are dooming ourselves to failure. Nothing of worth is built on lies nor are is such a falsehood sustainable for long.

Well, you know what Ale Glad. You’re right. No one should call you brother. No one should try to build a kinship with you outside of blood relations, and certainly not based on a shared faith. In fact, I am seriously wondering if, based on your argument about reaching outside your own blood kin, if thou has married thine sister or cousin. I mean, if we’re going to keep it all in the “proper family” that is.

I have read some pretty shitty stuff in my day. I have seen Halstead try to get rid of theists from a religion. I have seen SJWs shout racist screeds, call for the extermination of an entire gender, and champion the rehabilitation of pedophilia as an acceptable societal practice. And I have to my knowledge, in all those things, not managed to read something so elitist, self righteous, and hypocritical as what Glad has written here.

Because in my decade and a half as a Heathen, there’s a few things I’ve learned it is supposed to be about. Kinship. Hospitality. Honor. The Gods. And in this one article, while claiming to uphold the values of kinship and honor, Ale Glad has managed to spit in the face of Kinship, Hospitality in all its forms, and honor itself.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Herr Glad has need to lay off the Ale. And to follow the advice of Odin.

The sad truth is though, Ale Glad is only giving voice to the word so many Heathens are shouting out more and more, at least in the online groups I find. One giant Terrance and Philip Skit.

 

So well done, Heathens. Who knew people could get nostalgic for things just over a decade ago when every new Heathen was greeted as a brother. The horns were raised, joy was found in a new person joining the Kin, returning to the Gods. But then, I guess that was when most of us were Metalheads who were all about hospitality, rather than…whatever it is you people are.

So I’ll leave everyone with a nice little song that encapsulates what Heathenism used to be. What it should be. What it would be if you (and you know who you are) got your heads out of your asses, swallowed your elitist view of yourselves, and spread a bit more kinship about.

 

 

Hela Bless