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Find yourself living in a place where you can’t plaster your Wards (Magical Defensive spells for the laymen) all over the place, due to interfaith (or hidden faith) reasons?

Have I got a deal for you!

In the fine tradition of ripping off other cultures so that we can prosper in our practices, I present the Mezusu Method! (A deliberate misspelling of the original, because I am too bored to go look up Hebrew terms).

Begin with your wards, presumably on parchment or paper. Now, determine the number of wards which you are going to use. Either X number per wall of the house, or one for every door, window, or other entrance. You will need to gather little metal tubes you can seal up of the same number. Copper is acceptable, silver is more spiritually conductive, but you can use steel or any other metal that you please (and are less likely to be stolen). Wood would also be acceptable.

You will place a ward in each tube, then attach the ward to the outside of your house (or apartment, if you can get away with it), much the same way Jews put those little metal boxes by the doors. You can even decorate the tubes with designs to make them more artsy.

But wait, there’s more!

If you’re in need of a subtle hiding (due to living in the broom closet) you can place the sealed tubes at the center of wind chimes, and place them about strategically. Most people will see only the wind chime, which you can even hand make to help blend in your ward-tube. It may even cause the sounds from the charms to be imbued with magic from the ward, and add an extra level of protection when the wind blows.

Sorry, but I didn’t feel like raising Billy. He might be the greatest salesman, but I wanna leave him to his rest. Thus you got stuck with me.