So…yesterday I got a warning at my job.

This, perhaps not so oddly, isn’t that rare for me. When your default rule is to go with “Like for Like,” you’re shy, don’t really know social situations (Because you grew up sheltered reading books, not out with people), and your basic way of dealing with new situations is to “mimic” or “copy” people for how to act, you can run into problems. Especially when you work in a “service” industry and the people you deal with tend to be rude to you as they expect you to serve them.

So, the warning. Apparently it was based off Tuesday when I showed up for work and found the Area boss there, but no sign of my manager. While this may not sound like a big deal, we have a small staff and generally I work either by myself or with my manager. So I asked where he was.

And in return I got a very dismissive and high and mighty, “That’s need to know, and you don’t need to know.”

Now, a few things happened here. What if something goes wrong and I need to get in touch with my manager? If I don’t know where he is, or why he is unavailable, this could be a problem. I don’t like problems (at least not like that). Small amount of worry sets in at a new situation. I am clearly being dismissed and not deemed worthy of respect, after four years of working at this pos place for min wage and no benefits. The least I could have is a little respect (not happening).

Now most people, when they feel panic, default to, well, panic. However, I grew up in an abusive home the last few years and my default is Do Not Show Weakness! So I tend to get more assertive. I asked some more, because “You don’t need to know” doesn’t work for me. Finally I gave in, because it wasn’t worth the contest of wills, but apparently I shocked one coworker that I’d talk to the AOM like that (of course, he’s trying to be good and get in nice cause he wants a thing with her granddaughter or something). I’ve lived in that situation, where info is controlled simply because someone else things you don’t need to know. I got screwed badly. Never again.

Now, later I found out the Area Manager couldn’t say because it was confidential. Had she said “Lucius, that’s confidential, I can’t tell you,” no problem. She cannot speak of it. That’s fine, matter dropped. Dismissively telling me “you don’t need to know” like I’m a piece of shit not worthy of the knowledge or power from that knowledge…doesn’t work.

And I think that’s really one of my problems with my current job (that I’m looking forwards to leaving sooner rather than later). When people are nice to me, I’m nice back. But the problem is that some people come in and treat you like a piece of shit they stepped in. Now, supposedly, you’re just supposed to smile, take it, and please them.

Now, maybe that works for “normal” people, for for slightly insane sorcerous heathen who lived in a war zone of emotional and psychological abuse for about 8 years (give or take a year) bending over and giving into the asshole just opens you up to greater abuses. People who find out they can take advantage of you, will take advantage of you if they think it will get you something, especially those that start out by treating you shitty. Of course, they’re also the first to complain when someone isn’t bowing and scraping for them.

Which gets me into trouble.

And it makes me wonder, when did this happen? Last I checked (and maybe this is because of my sheltered life where I got my info from books) but I though you were supposed to be polite to people who helped you, even if it was their job. At what point did it become okay for people and companies to insist that their employees had to fit the mold of “my bitch?” Is it the fact that so much of our economy is based on service industries? Did we ship out all the jobs that people like me, dedicated, punctual, professional, and perhaps not people people except for those in our crew, could do and excel at? When did it become okay to treat the guy behind the desk like shit, then complain when he didn’t bend over, touch his toes, and ask for a second helping? Like it was his fault, even when he does the job he’s told to do to the best of his abilities and following company policy?

It makes me sick.