So, to take a bit from Reaper Man, R believes in Gods the same way most people believe in tables. They exist, but don’t consider themselves lesser lived for not calling out to the table in holy devotion. And in R’s case, like many people who bark their shins upon a table, sometimes curse their existence.
With everything that goes wrong in life, R seems to feel she’s barking her shins a lot.
And she asked me, yesterday, how I can have faith in gods, when the gods are nothing but like petulant children who love to torment us? Why I would worship such things? Why would I believe in them?
Beyond the science behind why I believe, there is a simple…reality, for me. Maybe this reality is an illusion, maybe it’s wishful thinking. Maybe it’s actually true.
I don’t believe the Gods are like petulant children out to torment us. I do think they can sometimes over estimate what it is we can take, because they are bigger than us. But I do believe that most of them generally want to help. Maybe that there is a plan, or a dream, or something, that they strive to get to. I do believe that they help me.
I have faith because no matter how broke I am, I have always managed to cover everything I needed to cover. Maybe not everything I wanted to, but everything I needed too. Because when things have gone wrong with the shop, like the air soft guys dicking around with the space for a week or so, it ended up giving us the time needed to get the money from our investor to cover the rent. Without which, we wouldn’t have gotten the space. Because this month our investor has enough to cover the store bills. Perhaps Freya was too busy to make customers flood into our store, but she at least had the time to see we were covered.
Not what we want. But what we need.
Because no matter how dark my life got, not only were they a beacon, I got to be where I am. I got to meet R, and bring her here, and we got to open a shop together. A dream of both of us. And it has been such that for all the difficulties, something good has come from them. A friend has come through, a bond made stronger. I have become a better person for it all. My Gods have led me on a merry chase, and it keeps going, and everyday I get a little braver, a little happier, and a little more powerful.
I pray to Thor and Odin everyday at work for the will to get through the day, and a silver tongue. And everyday I make it through, though hard it can be, and I set the record for the best certification in the entire division, company wide. I give praise to Odin and Thor for their aid in making this happen.
I chose my Gods because I liked what they stood for. I stayed because I found with them family. I live with them because while they don’t shower me with everything I want, because this isn’t their land, or their people, or any number of reasons, they have done right by me when it counted. And I try to do right by them. Sometimes I don’t do so well.
But I have faith in them, and I hope they have faith in me.
Hail my honored Godkin.