So, I’m happy I got another computer to do videos with, because for some reason my other one doesn’t want to display on it’s monitor. Hopefully i can get it fixed easy enough, because some stuff for the blog and show is on there, but we will see what fate has in store.
Lately I’ve been dealing a lot with politics and I admit that while my blog does tend to get highjacked with politics more than I like…this time seems to have been worse. Or maybe it’s just the politics which have gotten worse, if you notice a trend in the articles and what i’ve had to say about it.
Lately it’s been leaving me a bit depressed. Well, beyond the normal depressed. Yule is supposed to be a season of peace, yet all I find is war. War that, ultimately, has the kind of rhetoric that I have seen time and again lead to only violence and death throughout history.
Often I wish I could just write about religion alone, about the Heathen faith and our Gods and how we should live with honor and hospitality. I think lately what’s gotten me so upset is that much of it is Heathens hating on other heathens or on people simply for their paler skin tones. I’ve had a lot of angry posts come into my head about this, posts to disprove their claims about privilege or racism, but…
But as I write this I really don’t want to do that stuff. I wrote a while back that I wasn’t going to hunt the Racists in Heathenry. It’s a complete group bias, I freely admit that. Why should I punish people of my race for doing what people of every race are doing. I don’t feel it’s my place to dictate what they believe, or claim that their faith is lesser because of their supposedly racist attitudes. As someone who has been called a racist a number of times, I no longer believe such claims anyways.
Honestly though, I sometimes wonder if the reason I discuss politics so much is not just because I love political philosophy, but because in some ways it is safer than talking about the more supernatural sides of my religious experience. Some of it is pretty fantastical, some of it would sound egotistical, and while I have hinted or stated some of it…well. Idk. Sometimes it feels private.
I know that doesn’t exactly help people who come here to try and learn. For some time I’ve thought I was doing okay reaching people, the numbers are going up again, but sometimes I wish I was reaching more people and I don’t know how to do that. It seems, all to often, that my voice is not welcome, my ideas and stances on things so counter to what people find acceptable. Or maybe I’m just going to the wrong places.
And I’m not asking anyone to change or just automatically accept my views. I freely admit that my views are shaped largely by two things. European philosophy and Hel. I believe what I believe partially because Hel has taught it to me, shown to me the consequences of certain things. And I get that the views of the dead, our ideals and lessons…do not always jive with the living. The living are so full of energy and motion that they have to do all these things which can lead them into serious trouble. They have their missions and reasons for living that they will defend to the end even if false, all because it is their reason for existing. I suppose that’s one of the beauties of life, but…well, slowing down and thinking sometimes might not be a bad idea. And I suppose the blessing of death is you don’t have to have something to live for, so you don’t have to get attached to things like “righting perceived wrongs” that may or may not exist.
Sometimes I wish I could take a break from living. While I do ghostwalk, my version of astral projection, it isn’t the same. Having to focus, to project oneself to Helheim, to the shores of Nostrand, or the Halls of Hel, or even my own personal tower that I constructed years ago and then moved to Hel’s palace is an effort of will rather than an act of simply being. And lately I haven’t had the energy to really go their consciously. I miss having lunch with Mordgud, who is really the best big sister I could ask for. Walking in the gardens of Hel’s creation, meditating there, surrounded by my realm and its power.
Dreams, however, do not create a reality alone.
I’m thinking of doing a few different projects for the blog and show, try and get away from some of the politics if only for a few days. I don’t know if that means you guys will see anything, but with any luck some of those projects should happen. I’ve got a vague idea for a series on Heathens in History, doing short bios of significant Heathens, and then branching off on some people I think are important to history that have been largely forgotten. With any luck, I can do those.